The bloody details of a horror writer, director & actor.

January 13, 2013

Progress... Not Perfection

After a long day at work on Friday, we scrambled to record our intro videos on empty stomachs and then bundled up for a midnight shoot in -20 temperatures. We have some excellent things to work with, but with the clock ticking Travis & I spent a gruelling six hours re-working the script the following day. Long writing sessions are never a good idea. It's like spending too much time in the steam room; you come up wrinkled, brain-boiled, and dehydrated.

So these conditions are perfect for some vulnerable feelings and old fears to come up. I'm feeling the lack of sleep, the financial constraints, and the pressure of our time running out.

I'm afraid of pushing too hard and shutting down again. I'm afraid that when we ask for help, nothing will come. I'm fearful of gathering everyone behind me and leading them into the wood only to become lost.

Ninety percent of the time, I feel like we've got this. It's a confidence that only comes from the collection of times we stuck with it to find the way out, or all of the moments that help came in the nick of time, or we caught the inspired thought that solved everything... but sometimes the confidence slips when all you see is the big wave coming for your head. And when that happens, you just have to remember you know how to float.
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