May 23, 2011

Meeting Captain Malcolm Reynolds


On the tail end of my shift last night, my dogs start barking and I want to go home. The pub isn't as bumping as it usually is on a Saturday night. The Rapture? Perhaps. All I know is that I'm left behind and probably deserve to be. And as I'm taking the drink order for a new table I turn to the person closest to my right and I see this. Well... different shirt, darker lighting. But YES! Mr. Nathan Fillion aka Captain Malcolm Reynolds from Firefly!
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May 18, 2011

Three Days Till Apocalypse

So according to a select group of organized crazies, some serious shit is about to go down this Saturday. Which is too bad, because I felt like I had a lot going for me and the screenplay isn't finished, and I'm working this Saturday. If the Rapture is going to take place, I'm really going to wish I had taken the day off.


I don't know much about the Rapture, unless we're talking about this:



So I will allow you to educate yourself with the weblink below. Make sure to check out the "Timing of Important Events in History" which finally gives us a definite time of when the God created the world, when Noah started the first incorporated ZOO, and how we're all going to die by fire October 21st of this year. Strange enough, the dinosaurs are not mentioned on that time line of important events. Weird.

Proof that the world is so much scarier than anything that goes on in my perverted brain: ITShappeningbecausewesaidso.org (I made that up).
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May 13, 2011

Fear Has a New Face


Well... some people never lend a hand.
Happy Friday the 13th!!! Can't revisit these unlucky days without thinking of the film franchise that has been scaring sexy teens away from camp grounds and each others jibbly bits since 1980.

But move over Jason, there's a new kid on the block and his name... is Hookface!

Galen W.E. Pendleton's "Nightmare Island Trilogy" is a throwback to the campy, campground classic. Self-professed "sexy teens" (who clearly hold day jobs, pay taxes, and graduated from high school ten years ago) find themselves stranded on Nightmare Island, in the center of Murder Lake. One-by-one the teens are slaughtered by the pun-affected Vietnam Veteran with hooks for hands. For low budget, the gore is parfait (strawberry parfait) and the trilogy is jam-packed with talented theater and television actors.

Play nice and he might let you off the hook!
Yours Truly will be terribly slaughtered in the third installment, "Rise of the Blood Queen," so you'll have to hold tight. Until then, an official website has just been launched HERE! Hookface is updating his twitter page on the REG, so don't be a dumbass and completely miss out on the buzz of this new cult classic. Go to the website. Become a fan. Get HOOKED!
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May 11, 2011

People Are Gonna Die!

The screenplay is starting to take shape. I've been working with an excellent resource, John Truby's The Anatomy of Story: 22 Steps to Becoming a Master Storyteller and what do you know, he has a blog HERE.

Confident with the structure and character development, I've now begun the fun part of working with the scenes and dialogue. I usually free form on paper (I have less instinct to edit that way) and just let it all come out, then sift through the mess.

The best part of writing a horror film is that you get an opportunity to kill all the people that irritate you. THE BLEEDENING is going to to have the biggest blood fest of sexy teens blood projectile vomiting and oozing out of every orifice... I can't wait!!! And so I had to decide yesterday who I really want to showcase in death, because as I writer you are essentially stating a message about the world about how people should live (the moral tale) and who deserves to die. At first, I took the easy way out and had the jocks vs the nerds. But no, that's just not real to me. The people that have really irritated me in life are the semi-intelligent, hipster band guy/actors with the tight pants and the chest tattoos. Recognize these were also the guys that I teen crushed on when my girlish brain couldn't weed out the gold from the turd nuggets. So they're GONNA DIE!!

I'll describe to you a true event that I'm blending into the screenplay so when you see the film, you'll have the inside scoop. A few years ago, I was in Toronto with a connected young tour manager who brought me to  meet The Reason. There I met Billy* the merch guy, who was the strangest dude I've ever met. After getting Billy's back story of endless shenanigans of douche-baggary - pretending he was the lead singer to get laid, then getting slapped when the poor girl saw the real band on stage - he takes off his shirt to show me his new tattoo. Imagine if you will, a hammock filled with animated fruit. A smiling apple, a jovial banana. I think a pineapple was even present. And then Billy, tattooed on his own chest, has his arms around the fruit, having a grand ol' time. It's something you would expect to see on some cheesy low brand pina colada mix, not on this tight girl-jeans hardcore hipster. Then, and this is the best part, he says with all serious only an ironic hipster could muster: Fruit are the new skulls.

Take a moment to collect yourself.

Now imagine him exploding like a human land mine. Yeah, it's gonna be great!

Skull Art by Dimitry Tsykalov


 
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